...I love being pregnant.
No, wait....let me say that again:
I LOVE being pregnant.
Let me be clear on something: It hasn't been a cakewalk. Heartburn started early and with ferocity (for the past 5 months I've been on prescription strength antacids). Headaches unlike I've ever known started about month 4 and after exhausting the limited strength of Tylenol (seriously, who does that work for?), my doctor prescribed me the strongest thing I could take...and it really didn't do much at all. And now I'm in that "my stomach is scrunched up so tiny that I eat 5 bites and I'm full and nauseous and wanting to throw up because there Is.No.Room" phase of pregnancy. As an avid Weight Watcher-er, seeing the scale tip past The Number Which Should Not Be Named has been scary. I've been confined to wearing flip flops for 3 months. And, already being a fidgety sleeper, I have HATED having to deal with sleeping with this newly shaped body.
However...HOWEVER.......I still love EVERY minute of this journey.
Granted, I fought hard to be here. I was born wanting to be a mother. When I was little and people asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I'd say "a ballerina, an ice skater, a nurse, and a mother". At college, I quite literally wanted to kidnap every baby I saw on campus (...there is an annoying amount of babies on the BYU campus). As I got older and single-er, I started feeling violent towards all the girls with whom I grew up as they had baby after baby...and I went home to my lonely apartment every night. When I finally got married at age 31, I felt gratitude that I had "life experiences" under my belt. Two months into our marriage we started "trying" and 3 years, 3 IUI's, 1 IVF and over $20,000 later, I find myself 7 weeks away from my dream.
Oh yes...I fought hard to be here. And, once again, I feel gratitude that the journey was long.
But that's not why I love it.
I love being pregnant because....because I'm a partner with God in creation (finally!). Because Andrew and I will have a tangible product of our love to show off to the world (finally!). Because the science of the whole reproduction thing is absolutely astounding to me - I am literally GROWING A HUMAN BEING IN MY BODY (finally!). And because every time I feel this little boy squirm, every time he pushes and kicks and hiccups and twirls and giggles (yes, I think my boy is already giggling)....every time I watch my belly do that creepy wave, I am reminded that He Is Mine (FINALLY!); that Heavenly Father is loaning me one of his Most Awesome spirits to raise and love and protect and teach and guide through this mortal coil.
I am filled to the brim with joy and love. I am glowing and emotional. I am crazy and needy. I am awestruck and humbled. I am fat and happy.
*This painting is called "For This Child I Prayed" and my sister gave me a framed print of it at my baby shower. It's the story of Hannah and her desire for a son (Samuel) and the prophet Eli promising her she would be a mother.